Classic

This is Cool Cat Studio. Click on the comic to learn more about this other masterpiece from the creators of Penny and Aggie.

I wasn't able to get my pay last 15th, so I got mine last month in full. I thought It'd be great since now, I'd have lotsa cash to spend for my pamangkins and my parents. I thought, finally, I could treat them to Enchanted Kingdom or something like that. Horrified and shocked was I when I received my payslip... all I could readily utter was, "What?!?! I paid nine thousand bucks for taxes?!?!?!"

The next morning, my pay slip was the main course of discussion over breakfast. We contemplated on some stuff. Again.

For instance, the classic question: Where does this big chunk of our monthly sweat and blood go? Of course, what could you expect but classic answers: We pay for senate hearings on unnecessary issues. We pay for State visits and international shopping spree on the side. We pay for a big part of the paint job of this politician's mansion. We pay for debts bestowed unwillingly to our grandparents to generations to come. We'd surely pay for campaign projects of these corrupt bastards for the 2007 elections. And we'd probably pay more after they win the next elections. No, we don't pay for government projects. Public works and highways? Are you kidding me? We pay 75 bucks everyday to corporate NLEX from Balintawak to Malolos City, and it's not even government property anymore.

Taxes are soaring high, and they even have the guts to approve additional taxes, e.g. VAT. Ah. I forgot. We pay for those "Oh di ba, may resulta!" commercials that we see on TV nowadays. What "resulta"? Have we felt any long term results ever since the May 2004 elections? Where are those promises? Where are those dreams laid out in long boring speeches?

The only things felt by Filipinos from the government nowadays are those that make your eyes and ears sore already. Yet we know there are more bad things happening in the background. Do we also pay for assasination plots of those who oppose the government, or those who pose as threat to the government? We probably pay for gunmen, goons and the likes of James Aquino, who still gets 15 minutes of fame even though his credibility is more filthy than the Pasig River in the 90s.

Speaking of James Aquino- here's one classic example of why filthiness and evil in the government reigns. Ninoy Aquino, who said "The Filipino is worth dying for" should be ashamed of him being a Filipino, for selling his dignity and credibility for, perhaps, just a few thousand bucks. And boy, that was a really LAME and STUPID stunt: imagine not being able to recognize the one whom you are accusing as your rapist, your molester, your worst enemy. He should be banished from this country, if shredding his tongue to pieces and feeding 'em to the crocodiles is considered inhuman.

Back to taxes. Imagine how much revenue the government collects every month, and how much money are wasted for selfish deeds of graft and corruption. This is one reason why most professionals (nurses, doctors, lawyers, engineers... every profession a child would dream of in the late 80s) nowadays choose leaving this country as the best option for a better life. Life here is not rewarding. You pay your taxes, yet you don't feel it's worth. It feels like throwing away a big part of your monthly sweat and blood to nothing but bad news on TV everyday.

Can we blame those people who dream of living life abroad? Let me ask you. If everything stays the same in the years to come, would you prefer growing old in this country?

Addicted to webcomics

Awww... I just hate and love it at the same time, when I find somebody else has already made my wildest ideas come true.

I'm currently addicted to Penny and Aggie. No, they're not the latest versions of Skittles. They're two girls who live reality as how I'd live it.

See? I can totally relate to both... uh... Aggie most of the time. A natural poet who writes based on unpredictable mood, yet always mistakened as a Filipina dumb-blonde prototype. Fashionista, at times. Yet, expresses anger to the world most of the time through mastery of the wardrobe. And most of all, they're both dying to meet their knight-in-shining armor, yet are willing to do the most death-defying stunts to conceal this female weakness. A smart webcomic about being clueless. Girl power!! Teehee...

Godspeed

This is how good men die. They take refuge in silence. People miss them. Some people ask where they are, some just remember what good things they have done for us, for the country. Then, one day, we hear news that he had already passed away. Peacefully. Then, people miss them more. Their names become a solid part of history. They never fade away.

Farewell, Cardinal Sin. Surely, aside from your name being very memorable, you will be missed by this generation. And your meaningful life will surely be remembered by generations to come...

I love you, too, Dad.

I bought a "The Day After Tomorrow" DVD for my dad. We celebrated Father's Day just as how he'd always want it to be... in a couch with two of her beautiful daughters and three bags filled with popcorn, watching a good movie. As simple as it was, it was perfect. I never thought it'd be a perfect movie for the day 'til I've seen the movie the second time.

"Dad, will you go all the way to New York to rescue me, even if a whole lotta wind, water and hale gets in your way?"

"Are you kidding? We, Filipinos, are capable of facing the wrath of nature. I'll be there for you in no time, iha."

"So what predicament would have you decide that I need rescuing? And will you rescue me when that day comes?"

"If some guy just dumped you and you feel like the whole world has turned you down, I'll come to the rescue even if you're in the most remote side of Siberia."

Oh if you only knew. Happy Father's day, Dad! :)

that crazy spam

I just got this from my mailbox. Some general from Nigeria is looking for a place to throw his money away for "investing" purposes. I know these types of email's are fraud, but this one really made me laugh.

----------------------

V.Islands.

Hello friend,
How are you this weekend.
I am General Shehu Dagash (retired).
I am in Victoria Islands, Nigeria, Africa Continent.
I am seventy five years old.
After a careful study of your economy, I have chosen to
make substantial investments for my children in your
country, if you are willing to guide or represent my
interest in your country. I look forward to communicate
further with you.

My phone nr.: +234 805 361 3290
My email address: g5brass@yahoo.com


Have a nice day.

Gen. Shehu Dagash (Rtd)

----------------------

"After a careful study of your economy, I have chosen to make substantial investments for my children in your country..." Oh boy. Someone give this man a real analyst before he throws away his money. Mr. Shehu, if you're real, and in the spirit of Father's day, please have mercy on your children.

Politics, Lies and Audio Tapes

You know what? I'm just having a little epiphany. That Garci audio tape sure sells the same way those sleazy Ethel Booba and Piolo Pascual sex videos, being sold in the back alleys of Avenida. Just a week ago a student activist was trying to sell me a copy of that GMA audio tape for 20 bucks. Oh boy! What a way to make a fund racing gimmick! twenty bucks oughta earn me an LRT from recto to santolan station.

But Katie is absolutely right. Do we really need the tape to prove that GMA cheated? Come on the mere obvious fact that she used the resources of the government for her campaign last presidential election says enough! Is she then a corrupt president? How do we define corruption in the first place? In Singapore taking a coffee or lunch break a minute longer than allotted is already considered corruption. Obviously someones covering her ass. I can see the reason why she won't answer the allegations. After all its one question she would rather not dignify with an answer. That was something "Fat Bastard" Erap did not do, and guess where he is now. But I can go on and on the real point here is she cheated! regardless whether the content of the tape is authentic or not.

Does this call for another EDSA revolution? Oh come on people, lets have a little sense of maturity! Part of the reason why her cheating was so damn successful and believable was the fact that many voters supported her because of the so-called "Win ability factor". Which means people voted for the person most likely to win. When in fact, people should win because they get voted not the other way around. Its like this, if the tabulation revealed that Eddie Gil won by over 10 million votes against FPJ or GMA, you wouldn't have second thoughts about election frauds. When I went to EDSA 2, I was under the premise that it was a last resort, and we revolted, so we won't have to revolt again in the future. At a certain point people must have a sense of maturity, vigilance, and eventually be an intellectual voters so we would save ourselves all these fiasco.

But make no mistake about it! I will never tolerate corrupt leadership. Just the other weekend, I saw one of those militant leaders yelling "Si GMA ang puno't dulo ng kahirapang ito!" But in reality the problem did not start with her, and definitely will not end with her. It began and will end with us. So make no mistake about it, maybe on my next essay I maybe supporting a call for resignation.

But here is the story that pisses me off. Mr. Jingoy claiming that the source of that tape is irrelevant, what only mattered was its content. Oh yeah? Lets see. The president is one of the most secured difficult people to access. But apparently they were able to wire tap her phone conversation. That took resources, skills, technology, and a hell of a motive to execute. Answer me this question, why would someone go trough all that trouble to wire tap the most secured person in this country? What motivated him? The quest to find the truth about election fraud? I definitly don't think so! Why? Because this wire tap conversationcould have been presented during the tabulation of votes, when it really mattered the most! But it was revealed in perfect timing when GMA's popularity ratings were down, and we are at our worst economic turmoil. This is like sprinkling gas on a raging fire. So there is now a question of the intentions of this person who executed the plan. What did he intend to do with the information in that conversation? Moreover who did he do it for?

So now, the main benefactor of all this is the political opposition. They clamor for GMA's resignation from office, due to corruption. Oh please! Don't you serve an equally corrupt master? Probably one of the most morally and intellectually incapacitated leader all over Asia. Fact is regardless if there is any truth on that tape or none, they would surely use it to make GMA look like an idiot. And what reeeeeaaaallllllly cooks my goose is Rep. Francis Escudero, asking the EDSA 2 people to apologize to the Estradas and the opposition. Oh wait a minute? So if GMA is proven guilty does tha automatically the innocence of Erap? If GMA is corrupt does that make Erap a less corrupt leader? If GMA stole 20 million and Erap stole 10 million, does that mean that he is less corrupt? If GMA is a bad president does that mean Erap was a good president? Oh kiss my ass opposition leaders! They are obviously using the issue to politically avange a fallen leader who feels like his d.... ba..... pen..... manhood was stolen from him the day he was removed from office pathetic! Id like to see GMA and Erap share the same prison cell someday if possible.

All this is folks is like the Alien Vs. Predator movie, "Whoever wins, we loose". Ang magnanakaw, galit sa kapwa magnanakaw. Just because they love to bring down a corrupt leader it does not mean that they arenow heroes. Not Erap! not Sandra cam! not even Atty.Ong and Agent Doble!

Ahmad

Hello, Garci

No need to buy newspaper in the coming days, guys. We basically have the same news since Monday, until who knows when.

In a cafe with friends, I saw Jinggoy Estrada being interviewed by Ted Failon on TV. The gist of the interview:

"uhh... wala po kaming kinalaman sa paglabas ng mga tapes na yan...

...pero Ted, may gusto lang sana akong sabihin: Hindi issue kung sino ang nagpalabas ng mga tapes na yan. Ang gustong malaman ng tao ay ang kung ano ang nilalaman ng mga tapes na yan.

uhh... wala po kaming kinalaman sa paglabas ng mga tapes na yan..."

Some points that we've discussed after being disgusted by Jinggoy's face on TV once again (never fails in making this effect on us...):

A formula just crossed our minds, spanning two terms of presidency in the Philippines.

Joseph/Jinggoy = Mike/Mikey

Conclusion: Malacañang always has been run by filthy pigs, who, unfortunately knows how to play around with people's minds and politics.

What next? Lito/Mark = Joseph/Jinggoy = Mike/Mikey?

This is one way to prove that history repeats itself. It's so pathetic, though. Retard.

Buti na lang, Kris is not equal to Cory.

Get your Hello, Garci! ringtones through TextPower!!

Up next, Hello Garci! dolls. (Hello Kitty dolls with Garcillano's face on it.)

Thanks, Mercy and Tanya, for that fabulous miryenda. Teeheehee.

This is a Jonas Diego masterpiece. This is for all the women who weep in the dark. Just click on the title and read on. :)

cheating

Nah. I think all these buzz about Gloriagate is just a bunch of crap. I mean, isn't it already a fact of life that Gloria cheated during the 2004 elections?

We don't need wiretaps and tapes to prove that our president's a fake. Obvious signs of her sinister plans have already been with us the day she stood as the second lady president of this God-forsaken country! It's just that... ah well. I think Filipinos are now suffering mass amnesia as side effect of synthetic pancit canton we've been eating for years- Filipinos just easily forget.

Have people forgotten that she even cheated herself by breaking her promise prior to the elections? She promised she'd not run for re-election, didn't she?

Have people forgotten that Arroyo-henchman Garcillano had already retired from government service before being assigned again in the COMELEC, A FEW MONTHS BEFORE THE ELECTION? If people still consider logic not as an ancient way of life, that's already a give-away that CHEATING would happen during those times, wouldn't it? I mean, as President who'd desperately want to win an election, she would assign a head-over-heals follower as mediator, right? That's what happened, but no one seems to remember.

Isn't it that during the election campaign, the streets were almost covered with signs saying Gloria's project this, Gloria's project that?! It's obvious that WE paid for those campaign ads, no matter what Gloria's side say to refute this claim. And hell, THEY WERE NOT GOVERNMENT PROJECT ADS. THEY WERE GLORIA'S CAMPAIGN ADS! Don't tell me that it was just that the government wanted to say they were doing their job, and putting these signboards should tell the people that it is so. Where are those billboards now?! Why not spend now on these "Gloria cares" signages, huh?! Imagine the money spent on this so-called government ads. It's like we paid taxes just to let her use our money to post her shameful name everywhere that time. By using government funds for campaign purposes, isn't that right-on-the-face CHEATING?

And lastly, isn't it that CHEATING is really part of the game here in the Philippines? It's either you're too famous, or you're too dirty you'd win the elections. Or both. In the case of Gloria during the May 2004 elections, she was just too (to borrow the Filipino term) "tuso" to bring it on and still manage to win against a real contender clamoured by the masses. Come to think of it, if Gloria played a clean game, would she win the May 2004 elections? Without the mud-slinging and just clean campaigning, would she win the fight then? we would still be mourning for a president who expired due to a heart attack if that was so.

So, see? CHEATING is a legacy that the Arroyos give to Filipino history. From the Iggy boy's claim to save Mike Arroyo's ass, to this wiretapped recordings that completely confirms her real personality, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, is indeed, the queen of all cheaters. Ang cheating being part of our politics, cheating being a way of staying in power in the Philippines, hindi ba bagay na bagay sya sa kanyang position ngayon? :)

Don't tell us you'd just ignore these accusations, keep silent, and try focusing on real issues? This is the real issue, and has been regardless if it's forgotten by almost all your people or not. You think the country would still move on with these dirt lying around your crib?

Seems like we need a total overhaul- from the way politics work here, to the ones who would participate. Gloria's kung-fu is like Crumpy Choco spread that I left on my office desk: It's expired, and it stinks.

Stranger from now on

Tomorrow, my Elmo would fly away to somewhere he chooses not to let me know. He's flying away from me. I know the world is such a small place, and I can always find him if I'd want to. But it's not the way it is now. It's like in such a small place, he had established a whole universe between us. And I'm here somewhere where I can't even feel his presence.

Finally, he had left, many says. It's karma, his friends say. I know. So this is how it feels to be left behind. Empty. Everything just turns to black and white. Everything turns cold and lifeless. Although moving on is the only choice I have, seems like there's no easy way to get through it.

So this is how it feels when it's proven that dreams would just be dreams forever. Love songs become meaningless. Songs that speak of the woes of a broken heart turn out to be catalysts of hurting. Songs that used to make you smile now makes you cry.

I've slept almost all the time during these weekends. Falling asleep still feels like slow death. Waking up feels even worse. Funny, I thought I'd suffer from dehydration since I didn't take in anything since Friday. No, I'm not submitting myself to self-inflicted punishment. I just have no drive to go on, though I know I must in the days that will come. Oh I wish the sun would just stay stuck on the horizon at sunset. Crying seems to be the only option to all the questions that destiny has brought this little life of mine. Because there are no answers to why I suffer so much these days.

And it's even much difficult now that I'm alone with this feeling. I can't tell anyone about it, much more can't I show it. It seems that my room's the only witness to my very own lonely silence. No one to wipe my tears away but my pillows and my blankets...

I'm not entirely left with nothing, though. I'm left with memories that sadly will remain memories forever. He also left me a story to finish. Come to think of it, my story has just ended when another story is just to begin. I'm still looking forward to it's realization. I'm still excited to share it with the world- the only story that will render my love for him endless. For now, let me just dwell in the sadness that I deserve, as hurting is the only part that I have in this part of the story. For now.

"If you knew how happy you were making me, I never thought that I'd love anyone so much..."

I love you, my Elmo. I'll never look forward to seeing you anymore, just as how you'd want it to be. You can go on with life now, away from me. You can now be happy with the one whom you have chosen to be happy with. I'll forever think of you, but I will not hope that we meet again. I'll just let destiny do it's part now, just as how destiny had led me closer to you in these past years. If we're truly meant to meet one day, I only wish it'd rain that day, just as that day when I first held your hands and realized that I love you. I'd still sing your songs, read your poems, cherish our memories together. Please let me do so, as this is the only way I could go on for now. Take these away, and you have left me with nothing.

I never said goodbye, for you'll always be here with me anyway. "Feels like home to me... Feels like I'm always back where I belong..."

Tell Me Where It Hurts

Just tell me where it hurts now baby,
And I'll love you with a love so tender
And if you let me stay I'll love all the hurt away
Why is that sad look in you eyes
Why are you crying
Tell me now tell me now
Tell me why you're feeling this way
I hate to see you so down
Oh baby is it your heart
Ooh Breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry
Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything I can do
Why don't you tell me where it hurts now baby
And I'll do my best to make it better
I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts now tell me
And I'll love you with a love so tender
And if you let me stay I'll love all the hurt away
Girl tell me, where are all those tears coming from
Why are they fallin'
Did somebody somebody leave your heart in the cold
You just need somebody to hold give me a chance to put back all the pieces
Take your broken heart
Make it just like new
There's so many things that I can do
Why don't you tell me where it hurts now baby
And I'll do my best to make it better
I'll do my best to make the tears all go away
Just tell me where it hurts now tell me
And I'll love you with a love so tender
And if you let me stay I'll love all the hurt away
Baby, If you'd only tell me where it hurts I know I can make it better.
If I could wrap my arms around your heart
I'd would hold you tight, and let you know everything is gonna be allright.
So take a chance with me baby. I dont wanna see you cry.
Is it your heart Ooh that's breakin' all in pieces
Makin' you cry Makin' you feel blue
Is there anything I can do
Tell me where it hurts now baby
And I'll do my best to make it better
I'll do my best to make the tears all go away Just tell me where
it hurts now tell me
And I'll love you with a love so tender
And if you let me stay I'll love all the hurt away

Words & Music by Diane Warren
Remake by MYMP

Hurrah for Independence

This are factors in Philippine politics that remain constant eversince independence was first declared in this forsaken land.

The people are inspired by false hopes. The Filipinos are educated in such a way that heroes are like angels from the heavens- they live to give us salvation from sufferings. The fact is that main characters of our historical novela are, themselves, the protagonists who go against unpopular true heroes. Take for instance Aguinaldo. Yes, the first president of the Philippines who allegedly stood against the Spaniards by declaring freedom from the centuries old Spanish problem. Ever thought how Aguinaldo gained the top position during his time? Review history: He had his rival Bonifacio assasinated. Antonio Luna, as well- stabbed on the back while his mother laughs like crazy on their azotea. He declared independence amidst strong disapproval from his wisest adviser Apolinario Mabini, who claimed it wasn't time for that because he somehow smelled something fishy with the Americans roaming around that time in the Pacific. (Not knowing his boss has already been influenced by their dark side...) Oh how amazing how history repeats itself in the Philippines. It's amazing we take the death of liberty from the past, and democracy in the present- through waving Philippine flags and thunderous applause.

Lies. Denying is art here. Works like magic in politics. In the Philippines, if you lie as a career, you'd most likely get the highest ranks. The likes of Miriam Defensor-Santiago (I lied! Hahaha!), Wilde Almeda (I'd kill myself if Estrada wins), Lolit Solis (from the Metro Manila Film Awards controversy), Gloria Arroyo (I will not run for reelection. I did not use goverment funds for my electoral campaign, I got not even a single centavo from jueteng), and now, Eduardo Bunye (you've got to learn to deny if you're Gloria's press secretary, you know...), are but obvious examples. Yet lies still sell, specially when mixed with too much palabok. Combine controversies, lies, crying faces on TV, and Senate hearings: You've come up with both a perfect coverup for a real issue that is happening on the background, or a good way to build up yourself for the next elections! It happened when Aguinaldo declared independence when he knows the Americans were almost to invade us. It's still happening now.

Fall guys. Bonifacio is a great example. Poor guy. He would have been the first good Erap in Philippine history. The one who stands up as Gary (of the controversial audio CD) today is another example. Poor guy... he probably has a great utang-na-loob for Mike Arroyo to have his name and life at stake, just to save the pig's ass.

Controversy. Philippine culture would not be complete without it. It seems like Filipinos have learned to live by it. Probaby due to the fact that most politicians already came from showbiz roots. Or most politicians go for showbiz fame just to gain popularity. Controversies and false stories come with the package. How about professionalism? How about truly focusing on the real issue? If you're Gloria, you could probably tell that to your people while you do the dirty fixes behind the scenes.

Nepotism. Never leave the family behind when blessings that come with power arrive. The returns of fame and authority should be distributed not to those who deserve it, but to those with whom you have blood relations. Filipino muna? Filipino first? Nooo... Utang na loob muna. Friends muna. Asawa muna. Anak muna. Hell... ako muna! Since they bought their votes anyway, it's time to reap the fruits of the campaign labor. Politics is business here. Preparations begin not by building up your name through honest, honorable deeds; but building up your bank accounts for pre-election purposes.

There's no reason to celebrate Independence day, since we've been dealing with the same bastards and dirt since days of the Spanish regime. Independence day is for those who think we're now free from those who took our ancestors as slaves. Where's Europe now? Where's the United States now? How about Japan? Do they suffer because of their misdoings in the past? Compare their lives with ours now. Who suffers the most? When they left, we're left with more problems than Jose Rizal had anticipated in his last days in Fort Santiago. Rizal could be laughing at us now. Fools! You read my novels, yet you never learn from it. My message is obvious, yet you never have noticed it. Never learning from your simplest and most obvious mistakes only means one thing: You're all a bunch of retards! I'd kick Rizal myself (again) off from heaven if I hear him say that.

Let's all wear black on June 12... and have a great time. Yipee.

Sadness reigns

It's true that finding out your dreams have come to an end even before it's realization means only one thing- endless hurting.

From now on, my unconditional affection for him is considered a sin, an act that will not be allowed in the eyes of God and men. The thought that even God would now disapprove of something that I have been holding on for the longest time haunts and hurts to the deepest reaches of my soul.

That's how it feels when you learn that you've dedicated more than everything that you are and you will be to someone with whom you are not really destined to be with after all. The future becomes uncertain. It's like tomorrow is just pitch black. The drive to live is somehow severely weakened. You can't go out, you can't move. You cease to hear or see anything, because you don't want to- everywhere you see blurred memories of being loved and happy. Then, as these memories fade, you feel helplessly alone.

Elmo is going away. For good. Although this is the end that I knew would come even before we first separated, I never noticed that it would be so soon. Perhaps I was hoping that this end wouldn't come at all, although inevitable. Perhaps this is how fools are. Hoping for the inevitable's opposite. I am a fool, and perhaps I will be in the next years to come. I knew time would come that I would have to move on. Move on without him. Move on by letting go of him. Move on knowing that we traverse separated paths now. The hurting is tearing me apart as days go by.

Forget about him and move on. This is what most of my friends would say. I understand how easy for them to tell me that: They don't know much about Elmo and I. Fact is, only a handful of people knows about us being "us". It was a love story that never really started, and never really ended until recently.

He was just a close friend singing on stage with his band/barkada one fun night in 1997 in UP's Narra dorm. I was just a fan (and the band's only groupie) cheering for him on his first attempt to perform in front of a live audience. Holding his lyrics sheets, I was lypsynching the lines for him, as he looks down to me from the stage, worried that he might forget his line, but confident since he knew I was there as his living cue card.

"Will it ever be alright
To ask you where you spent last night
And can it be polite
The way we never write,
Of course I don't have the time,
And anyway I'm fine
If I should tell a lie
I'll cross my heart and hope to die..."

It would have lasted as a great love story. It would have ended happily.

The memory of those teasing eyes staring at me continues to clutch my hurting soul in moments of stolen silence till now, and for the rest of my life.

It's quite ironic that Elmo's going away for good on the 11th of June... the next day would be Independence Day... unwanted freedom.

Anime me.

Ok you are a romantic anime girl and you love and
care for a lot of people.There is no evil in
you soul or your heart.Though sometimes people
don't feel the same way as you do you keep on
trying to change their mind.You love to help
people out and you are always happy.Keep on
trying to make the whole world smile because
you know smiles are contagious ^_^.Oh and if it
seems like there is nobody who could love you
as much as you could love them it doesn't
matter the thing is that the only thing that
matters is that he cares and loves you and it
doesn't matter how much well maybe it does but
don't set you standards to high cuz then you'll
find nobody


If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?(Girls Only)
brought to you by Quizilla

Ahmad on Action Star Syndrome

Is there such a syndrome called "action star complex?" There is a Peter Pan Complex, there is a Soap Opera syndrome. But I think there also should be an action
star syndrome.

In Philippine action movies, the hero is handsome, he is cunning, he is bold, and oozing with testosterone. He can kill a thousand enemies with limited ammunition. He can fist fight with six goons who are bigger than pro wrestlers. He always defends the oppressed from the aristocrats. He always gets the women at the end of the day. And when the movie ends, he becomes a senator or maybe even a president.

Here are some FAQs about action stars

1.) Why on earth would they always wear thick leather jackets in a scorching hot climate?

2.) Why do they pick leading ladies that are young enough to be their daughters and grand daughters?

3.) How come they always end up in a brawl when they enter beer houses?

4.) How can they annihilate a battalion full of enemies by themselves with limited ammunition?

5.) How come they always accurately hit their enemies without even aiming?

(Note: If our police officers and soldiers can do numbers 4 & 5, imagine how much the Philippine government would be saving from weapon and ammunition expenditures?)

6.) How come they always have to chit chat and drop those cheesey one liners with the bad guy before they finally start killing each other?

7.) Why do cops always come at the end of the climax to clean up the mess?

8.) And how come these action stars think that they can be as victorious in Politics.

Forgive me for saying these. But so far, all action star politicians we had at the national level created more disgrace to the institution, than gave valuable contributions.

I can understand why they get elected. The hero is an underdog who triumphs against all odds. The masses loves that. And because of this movie producers have relied on this formula to keep selling movie tickets. Enter the factor that our pathetic social structure values too little the benefits of educating people, since aristocrats thought people are of more use to them if they remain ignorant. Enter poverty, wherein it comes to the point people will believe the fairytales about action heros, if it gives them some sort of hope in a system where all of it is lost. And finally, enter these action stars who think they can use politics as a pathetic excuse to extend thier celebrity status.

Forgive mois for saying that at the status quo, these people do not have the right nor the qualification to hold public office at the national leve;. I think they take the "able-to-read-and-right-minimum requirement" waaaay too seriously. And by saying these, I just placed myself in the stereotype of the "kontra-bida". Oh yeah! pinuno na ni Ahmad ang salop dapat na siyang kalusin! Sheeesh like I give a rats ass anyway. Guess what? in real life kontra-bidas win!

Here my top 5 worst action star- turned- politicians. Due to the respect I have for FPJ, and the fact that he never held public office, I did not include him.

5.) Jingoy Estrada (a.k.a Wilson Sorronda/ Asiong Salonga Jr.)- If the sanete is an action movie, it should be entitled to anak ni "Asiong Salonga". Truly daddy should be so proud of him. He is such a great actor, he can even fake a heart attack or ailment. Why didn't he act dead while he was at it anyways? Oh I know, May namamatay bang bida sa pelikula? The senate tasked him to investigate on the escort service controversy, and again his acting prowess was displayed here. But come on! if he didn't care about his father's own illicit affairs at the expense of tax payers money, what makes you think he cares about his other fellow politicians. Investigation is over, but what has it achieved anyway? nothing! none were even reprimanded for conduct unbecoming. How I wished the senate just told the public that they don't want to do a damn thing about the escort issue. That would have been easier to swallow.

4.) Ramon Revilla Jr. (a.k.a Alyas Pogi)- What the hell is this guy doing in a sitcom? He claims that he needs to feed his family? Oh yeah right! The how was he able to support his candidacy? What has he been up to lately? Asking SM cinemas not to ban sexy films, and passing important laws to improve the pathetic movie industry. Hey! with all these problems we are facing we could use a little bit of entertainment.... right?

3.) Ramon Revilla Sr. (a.k.a Nardong Putik)- The so-called agimat ng masa. His agimat is so powerful that he managed to earn two consecutive terms in the senate despite of the fact that he had the most number of absences during sessions, and the least number of passed bills. Translation? arguably one of the most inept and incompetent senators in senate history. Damn, I wonder if he passed that agimat to Junior.

2.) Joseph Estrada (a.k.a Erap/ Asiong Salonga)- Who could ever forget "Huwag nyo akong subukan"? Even timemagazine claimed that this guy thinks his presidency is an action movie wherein he is the hero. Wait a minute, he claims that it is. Remember how he said he would survive Edsa 2? That must have shattered his ego, things didn't go well according to script. This guy started it all, an inspiration to a lot of senator wannabes. And now that he is detained, he has the lifestyle that Snoop Dogg would envy. His estate/prison was even featured in a magazine, like it was the lifestyles of the rich and famous. Truly a legend.

Drum Roll

1.) Lito Lapid (a.k.a Leon Guerrero)- When the press came to his mansion to interview him regarding his plans for the senate, he put up a fist-fight exhibition with his stunt men instead. When asked about his take on the escort controversy he said "basta nagkabayaran hindi na dapat ungkatin". How does he intend to stop illegal loggers? he would make an infomercial with him wearing a black cowboy outfit, and riding a horse. How would he recognize the heroismof legendary Huk leader Luis Taruc? by making a movie about him. With Lapid in the lead role of course. Why did he get angry with the other senators? because they did not give him a copy of their privilege speech, so that he could have had time to translate it in tagalog. Please enlighten me here. How does an official, who swears under oath, to defend and protect the constitution of this republic, when he himself admits he does not understand it? In fact how does a person whose main job is supposedly to make laws for this country, can afford not to bother studying the most important law of all? I don't memorize the constitution, but I have the general knowledge of whats in it. It is my duty as a citizen to know it. He claims that he does not learn anything from senate debate. Oh gee great! so now the other senators has this obligation to educate him. You know what? This guy will surpass Erap someday.

Welcome to the action star republic!