The Story of "Us" (Part 2)
Our unique bond started when we went out to Tagaytay years ago. I think I've already mentioned it in this blog, but it was really just a simple story. Boy meets girl. Girl hates boy at first, but after spending time with each other, falls in love with him eventually, in a very teenager-flick kinda way. Girl goes away, though, because career was much more important at that time. Boy gets broken hearted, and eventually was found by another girl who takes care of him and, eventually again, fell in love with him. Main girl, while away, realizes that there's nothing in the world more special that being with this boy. Girl goes home. Girl gets brokenhearted. Girl goes away again. Girl meets boy again later on. They get together, something clicked. You know the rest of the story...
Friends need not worry of our situation, as I think it is very well managed by both of us. You see, although we see (or we've seen) each other a lot lately, we always end up being reminded of where we are and where we stand relative to each other. As for me, I love him, with all my heart- I won't do anything that would hurt him. Even if that means not having him for the rest of my life, and enduring whatever feelings that come with it.
Indeed, ours is a relationship that we need to keep a secret. A big one. He has a family whom he loves so much, even I couldn't get through it. I have a life and a career to take care of, and settling down, specially with him, is not an option.
But why do we stick to each other even as circumstances always keep us apart? What makes us click whenever we are together? What makes the unique friendship last amidst all opposing conditions?
I don't know, actually. What I only know is that fate draws us together whenever we need each other. Indeed, the concept of "soulmates" really is a difficult thing to explain.
Or maybe it's just that I've been all around the world, and I never found a boy who's more affectionate, caring and sincere more than him. This is the type who never plays games. He tells or shows through obvious means what he feels, and never fails to make it felt too deeply. His are the sweetest kisses of which taking advantage is never felt. In his arms is the safest place in the world I could find. Whenever he lays his hands on me, specially to provide comfort in times of despair and depression, his touch never fails to tell that things will be alright, and it usually does. His are the eyes that never tell lies. He can avoid the truth, but never wills it to, specially if it is to hurt somebody. His is a heart that never willed to hurt anyone. Never. I've seen him carry the burdens of others just to alleviate their worries. He will do anything, sacrifice anything, just to make his loved ones happy and safe. And I was fortunate enough to be part of it. And never had I came over it. Memories of him stay inside, even if he's not aware of it. His kindness has affected my life more than anyone could in this world. And he knows this. I told him never to believe that he's never affected anyone in any way, even if others would make him feel like so. These are the reasons why I return to him every once in a while. His fortress of solitude, somehow damaged now- it's what my free soul yearns for whenever I'm hurt by the world, and it never fails to give me strength, to give me peace.
And so I tried to show him this peace, this calm sunrise after the dreaded storm that he somehow lost after the ordeals that was laid upon his life for a couple of months. Failure has beaten this man down to his knees, and as someone who he inspired for so long, it was my greatest happiness to return what is due him. It didn't matter who or what took him down. I was there to save him, in all means possible, even if it requires offering my all to him, even if I knew this bliss wouldn't last long.
I told him to forget about everything whenever we were together. And forgot we always did. I thought it was necessary. To emerge from the world and a life that somehow hurt you, you need to fly away from it sometimes. Although, again, flying away would mean flying back- completely forgetting everything and going away is never solution to our problems. It was a good thing that amidst all the craziness and careless things that we did during those short weekends, we always end up saying goodbye and returning to our lives not regretting anything that has ever happened. I really believe those days gave us the opportunity to make up for all the things that we've missed all these years. The chance to know what we could have been, and walk away from it smiling, keeping memories that were once just dreams, never part of reality.
(To be continued...)