I should have been there with the guys in EDSA. Today, we remember the ousting of a corrupt president through peaceful means, a trademark owned by the Filipinos... This year, it seems that it is a sad event for those who partake in the commemoration. Sad cuz almost no one doesn't care anymore. Sad cuz EDSA DOS is almost a lost cause now...

Why? For many reasons, that is. First, look at those whom we fought for. Look at Loren Legarda, for instance. Years ago, I followed and never failed to know every step she took in office. I admired her for her courage, dedication. I've always thought of her as a woman of uncontestable principles. But look at her now! Now, she stands with FPJ. She is running for office alongside a terrible timebomb in Philippine history. I don't know where her principles now. I could have at least kept em as souvenirs.

Look at Gloria's political party. Anyway, we didn't fight for her during EDSA DOS. We fought for change. She owed everything to us. Now, look. She stands alongside enemies. She took traitors as colleagues. Jaworski, Mercado, even that treacherous Osmeña, whose face in his political TV ads I really detest.

Look at Davide. He who should run for president had now left the limelight for the reason that his honorable name had been blemished by false accusations. He, who not only did his job as he claimed it during the impeachment trial that ignited EDSA DOS, but also did his job pretty damn well, is now living in the sanctuary of silence.

Look at the Filipinos. Where is the change we fought for during EDSA DOS. After a few months of victory came nothing but what has been before the revolution. As if nothing happened. Corruption is still rampant. Ah... there had been change, I stand corrected. At least now, corruption is even more obvious than ever. COMELEC hello?

Today, I recall those five long days of awakening. I celebrate the day when I came out of our house and claimed freedom from everything that makes the Philippines miserable. Today, I celebrate the day when I first saw the Philippines in the bigger picture, when I became aware that I am not alone.

So today, I wear black again.

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"If I have been a best actress in the past, I can be the best senator." -Pilar Pilapil, Senatorial Candidate

Now that's the stupidest thing I've heard in years.

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New year's resolution. Aside from exploding firecrackers, "jumping" as a yearly ritual for begging for height, keeping attuned with prophecies of local fortune-tellers, and frantic rearrangements by feng shui, coming up with a long list of promises for the year to come is one habit Filipinos have been accustomed to. Be it impossible to achieve or made only to be defied or ignored as hours, days, months pass, it's good that Filipinos still haven't forgotten that indeed, as time passes and as the world changes, so should we. To the better, that is.

I do have my new year's resolution. And I make it sure that at least 80% of em get fulfilled before the end of that particular year. I've done 90% this year. The only one I did not accomplish this year is to get married. Ah. I don't intend to put it in my list this year, for I have better things to do now. Ah. By the way, no. 8 got carried out since last September: putting up a website for myself. August: A red car. 2003 is a happy year for me.

Here's my list for 2004:

1. Redesign the HATE PHILIPPINES website. I need to come up with a stylish design which needs no high maintenance nor frequent updating, yet still catches much attention. I guess that would be the problem of my website designer. hahaha.

2. Get rich. I will definitely quit modelling because although I get lots of tending and freebies (yup! LOTS of em!), I still need to make my bank account fat for... uhm... "future use". Besides, this lady here would like to have her own dwelling as soon as possible. No... not an apartment, by a house of my own. Refer to no. 5 for more info.

3. Put up a business. Of course, this is one way to achieve no. 2. What business? Well, I've always dreamed of managing my own internet cafe. The only problem is where to put it up and, of course, where to get the capital.

4. Go to Paris. I haven't been there, but I'd love to go there. I started dreaming about Paris after seeing the movie "French Kiss" (Meg Ryan) a long long time ago. Of course, I'd want to go to Paris with someone. Someone special, perhaps. But going there with my best friends would be ok, too!

5. Be independent. I've always lived my life with someone: my dad, my mom, my cousins, my co-employees, my friends. I've cherished every moment I had spent with them, for they are the happiest parts of my life. But I think this year is the perfect time to have time for myself and myself alone. I need to be alone. I need to be at peace with myself every once in a while. A long vacation, perhaps, is a good idea. Paris is a perfect place for that. Ah Paris...

6. Write a book. A comicbook, that is. A comicbook following the footsteps of "After Eden", perhaps. I'll do the story, the art, probably the colors, and publishing if I get rich by June. It will be a love story, of course. Kinda like "Ghost." In my story, the One, who is yet to be reincarnated to be the Hero of Mankind in the future, dies (as destiny wills it to be), yet his soul chooses to stay in Man's realm to be with the one he loves. The longer he stays, the stronger and more confident the souls of the future dark lords become. Yet if he chooses to leave her, be reincarnated, and save the world in the next life bound for him, he becomes the reason for his love's untimely death. Meanwhile, as he delays his rebirth, the dark lords make sure that his soul would never achieve it's reincarnation, by completely bringing it to Oblivion. If this is a good idea, or if somebody would like to comment on this, i'd love to hear it.

It's a short list, but have it all accomplished and I'd say I've done it at last- to be happy and contented with what I have. For now, I have to continue dreaming and working on my dreams.

2004 will be a busy year for me.

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